We put together a £750k starter kit for tasteful Rugbeians looking to live like Hyacinth Bucket
It is time for this week's mandatory Advertiser property feature so, for no reasons other than silliness and escapism, we have put together a Keeping Up Appearances starter kit.
We took out one of the Advertiser's slimline, silver laptops and began searching for three key items - the bungalow, the car and the river cruiser.
Our key theme was tasteful, understated luxury, and we think we've found you three brilliant items - totalling just £750k.
Hyacinth's house in the series was in Binley Woods, and much of the filming was done in Coventry and Warwickshire.
Our bungalow is slightly bigger than Hyacinth's abode - this one is a detached four bed in Cawston.
It has been decorated to a very high standard throughout in a tasteful, contemporary way.
Its spacious lounge, complete with wood-burning stove, and the clean, contemporary dining room would be perfect for candle lit suppers.
The half-acre plot, including stunning gardens, would be enough to impress sister Violet (with room for a pony) and the large garage means that any old banger Onslow and Daisy arrive in could be neatly concealed from more distinguished guests.
The classy bungalow is marketed by Fine & Country, see www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/103687136#/ for the full listing.
In the series, Richard conveys Hyacinth to important engagements in a slick 1980s Rover 200.
But Hyacinth often longed for a Rolls Royce, and (truth be told) it is quite difficult to find a Rover of that vintage that isn't a heap of rust - so we have scoured local listings to find just the right car.
To this end we found a stunning 1984 Rolls-Royce Silver Spur on sale in Coventry for £20,000.
Its 6.8-litre petrol engine would be more than enough to waft important passengers around in effortless luxury - and the automatic gearbox would allow Richard to dedicate more attention towards Hyacinth's ever-available driving tips.
Little needs to be said of the interior, which oozes class with its plush leather seating and wood trim.
The car is marketed by Stewart Price Cars Ltd, see bit.ly/3vnxhJz for the full listing.
Finally, we come to the river cruiser - an important part of Hyacinth's social prestige.
In the series, the river cruiser turns out to be rather underwhelming in size - and the voyage ends in a good soaking.
Our choice in boat will leave no socialite short of space for guests.
This beautiful 33-foot Freeman Sedan is of 1970s vintage - but it has been kept perfectly maintained and its wood-lined interior remains impressive.
Twin sliding doors from the main section of the cabin out to the aft cockpit means there is room to sit up to 12 guests in comfort, and the heating system means a quick dry-off should any passengers fall into the river.
The boat is presently based in Alcester - so there would be a little drive to get to it - but what's a few miles when you're travelling in a Rolls-Royce?
It is on sale for £32k, see bit.ly/3bMuh1t for the full listing.
Credit for all photographs is to those marketing the items.